Saturday, October 10, 2009

Things I'd Never Thought I'd Say

There are times when you end up saying things that you never expected to say. I'm not talking about serious moments, philosophical revelations or even those embarrassing gaffes,
like when you tell a real estate agent that you're tired of looking at houses with orange shag rugs only to discover that she'd just carpeted her entire first floor in a lovely shaggy tangerine. I mean every day things -- explanations you never thought you'd have to give and words you never expected to come out of you mouth.

Here are a few examples:

Oh look honey, they're finally opening up a supermarket in town. There's going to be a band at the grand opening. Wanna go?

Sorry Chi, we don't have time for any more stories tonight. (Chi is my dog)

Sir, you're not allowed to have open fires of any kind in the business library.

I will not make an illegal U turn. It's not who I am. It's not what I do.

I'm not a suspect. I'm a librarian (said to a policeman who thought I was robbing my own apartment. It's a long story.)

My favorite present this year is my gift card to Home Depot.

Hurray! Congratulations on your new driveway!

This list could go on, but I have to go. There's a conversation in the next room that I want to get in on. They're talking about the 80's group Blondie and wondering if their musical contributions would be different if the lead singer was a brunette.


MG Higgins said...

I bet you're the only person in the world who's ever said, "Sir, you're not allowed to have open fires of any kind in the business library." That's hilarious.

nanmarino said...

It was when I worked in a college library. Even when I walked over to him, I kept thinking that this really isn't fire.

cleemckenzie said...

You do have books here, Nan. Really. I'm keeping track of all your stories just so when I read the blockbuster "Nan, The Librarian" I can say, "I knew her when."